I write to you today with a tale of utter embarassment.

I am a drug user, (intervenous)(not heroin)(you know which one I am talking about, so I won’t mention it by name lest the ‘rents or authorities discover it and take it away from us), and because of this I use the bathrooms in convenience stores around the city.

Being a user I have not consumed food or drink in over eighty four days and therefore do not need to use the bathroom in any conventional sense.  I use these bathrooms to shoot up and have met many people online which have provided maps, and we swap tips on the few bathrooms left not monitored by timers or CCTV cameras.

To avoid suspicion or detection I carry a small aerosol can full of a synthetic fecal smell, I spray this after I am done shooting up, so the convenience store workers will believe I have actually used the bathroom.

Well, today on the train during the morning commute, I was carrying a bunch of surveying equipment (levelling instruments etc.)(this is a whole other story), and one of the spiked legs of my tripods punctured the aerosol can filling the train car with unadulterated pure synth fecal smell.  A few people next to me might have died from exposure.  I was jealous, because I survived, and was so embarassed I wish I had died.

Now I am living in an access shaft underneath a rail overpass wondering what to wear in spring.